(The P.C. version of name)
CARL ORESTES FRANZONI
Carl (or "Karl") Franzoni, was born in Cincinnati, Ohio
in 1934, the son of a Sicilian stone mason. His parents hailed
from Rutland, Vermont and had relocated to Ohio for better
employment opportunities. As a teenager, like most adolescents, Carl
was unsure of his future (he did know he wasn't going to be a stone
cutter) and was soon running into trouble with various authorities
and their stringent rules (school attendance - #1). By his 20s, he
was long out of school, out of work, and his rebellious attitude and
radical philosophies seemed ill-suited for the staid lifestyle of
1959 Cincinnati. He left town with no particular direction, and like
so many other people in the late 50s, early 60s, he set his sights
on the allure of -
When Franzoni finally arrived in Hollywood, he discovered that he
was not the only disillusioned "Rebel Without A Cause". The streets
of Hollywood were rife with migrated youth who shared his lifestyle
and social point of view. And best of all, a good percent of these
"street people" were young, impressionable, teenage girls.
Now, almost 30 years old, Karl (soon Carl) Franzoni had found a
career, "Street Hustler".
* AUTHOR'S NOTE: It's
not clear if "mail-order breast and penis pump" salesman is
cited by Franzoni for his resume, solely to shock, or to inject some
humor into his interviews. I personally suspect, that is the closest
thing to "A Real Job" that he's ever done.
- Not that that
makes him a bad person!
To begin his new-found career, Carl aligned with a pair of older
Sicilians who were experienced in the 'Street Hustling" craft.
The pair had access to
these "breast & penis pumps" and were setting up an "office"
in a space no bigger than the length off its
Melrose Ave. address, in Hollywood, Calif., which is all that was
required for their forthcoming print advertisements. The pair
agreed that because Franzoni was a brother Sicilian, the eager
rookie would become an 'equal partner' instead of a lowly
commissioned door-to-door salesman. So, while Franzoni was trekking
about the hot, dry streets of Hollywood, Joe Scalacci, and his other
Sicilian 'executive' partner, were free to look for necessary funding, and
to evaluate future print
advertising. Though Franzoni enjoyed giving home demonstrations of
the pump, to housewives, door-to-door, he wasn't enjoying any paychecks.
was around this time (1963) that "The Penis Pump Salesman"
met the man who would forever give his life direction, Vitautus
Alphonsus Paulekas ("VITO"). The son of a Lithuanian sausage-maker
from Lowell, Massachusetts, the charismatic 50 year old artist
preached a lifestyle that Franzoni found most appealing. What
Carl found even more appealing was Vito's wife Szou, more than 30
years younger than Vito. She was an ex-cheerleader who had first
hooked up with Paulekas when she was just sixteen. Carl couldn't
wait to demonstrate his pump for her.
Though more than 20 years younger
than Vito, the liberal lifestyle of the artist fascinated
Franzoni, and thus began a union that would last until Vito's
death in Cotati, California during October of 1992, at the grand old age of eighty.
Since that time, at various locations outside Sonoma, California, Franzoni
has been doing his
best to maintain the freedom & beauty of Vito's
lifestyle for another
Frank Zappa wrote 'Hungry Freaks, Daddy' on "FREAK OUT" for
Carl Orestes Franzoni who, according to Zappa's liner notes,
"is freaky down to
his toe nails (sic). Someday he will live next door to
you and your lawn will die".
The song's lyrics decried America's culture of mindless conformity and
consumerism with such lines as:
"Mister America walk on by your schools that do not
Mister America walk on by the minds that won't be reached
Mister America try to hide the emptiness that's you inside
When once you find the way you lied
And all the corny tricks you tried
Will not forestall the rising tide of HUNGRY FREAKS, DADDY..."
"...Mister America try to hide
The product of your savage pride
The useful minds that it denied
The day you shrugged and stepped aside
You saw their clothes and then you cried
'Those HUNGRY FREAKS, DADDY!'..."
MORE, MORE, MORE...Wednesday, July 15, 2009 01:57 AM